Join us in our sunship balloons.

I know it's so silly and cliche but I'm so in love. It seems a habit of mine to write blog entries while she sleeps on my bed. As some of you may know I love watching people sleep. In the past it's been pets, babies, and occasionally lovers. Not many people get this about me. It's understood that I'm a people watcher but when you are observing the oblivious you can see every nook and cranny of their personality. She's about half covered by my black comforter, resting on the similarly covered sheets and pillows. Her eyes are closed but not moving much. I don't think she is dreaming. Her face is still tiredly expressive though. Her eyebrows raise and her face scrunches and her cheeks grow pink and the corners of her lips curl and rise, sneering at the waking world she is separate from. This whole thing has felt like a dream, the magic of falling in love and knowing so soon and so completely that we've nowhere else to go in this often life-long quest for companionship I see so many of my peers wrapped up in every day. Her hair falls in obtuse streaks across her forehead. Too thin to be clumps, too thick to be strands.

In conversation today I said the words "my fiance" much to the surprise of some of my peers. A project group member saluted me for my ability to make such a decision. The biggest decision he made this month he said was choosing what beer to drink in the evenings.

So I'm here, at home. She is with me always, sleeping or awake. We went out to buy her a ring guard today and now the silver holds to her skin like a leech, seemingly siphoning energy off and pulling the cheap stone to levels of grandeur the small jeweler I bought it from would never imagine, the high standing of the ring on her finger. When she needs to say the "W" word or refers to me with the "F" word it drains her and scares her and excites her and I love her all the more for all of it.

She doesn't know I'm watching her like this when she slumbers only a few feet away from me, but if she does catch me doing it she can't be too unhappy. After all, when I look at her I grow the biggest goofy grin I have in my repertoire that no photographer has been able to capture yet.

Perhaps the wedding photos will contain it.

I know this was kinda...sudden. I'm aware. But sometimes you just know. I can't seem to find a simile or metaphor that contains my reasoning in its entirety but I have been trying. For the absolutely geeky in my life I've got this:

You ever fall across something while you were browsing these here internets that is simply beyond passing up? Not porn or anything, but some data that fits you perfectly. The song collection that has every missing track off every album you owned but never were able to complete because your disc was scratched. The 15 pages in a PDF file conspicuously missing and leaving out the climax of a downloaded book. The last pages of a comic you bought second hand and could never ever finish. It appears in your life and you know beyond a shadow of a doubt that you simply must posses it, and it is what has been missing and you never want to delete it as long as your hard drive still lives.