I still don't have a therapist to give them a report. They based my rejection on a lack of a report, not a negative report. God I hate this government and/or country.
I just need to get my book(s) done. Nothing else matters. I finish my work and that's it. If my book is done and I kill myself at 25, I'm OK with that. Fuck, I've been ok with dying by thirty since I was a teenager.
Nothing matters anyway.
I feel guilty because I'm not as thin as I can be, will be soon hopefully. Mostly emotionally dead.
Fuck it.
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