So I've been thinking, and here's what I came up with.
Things I hate about her: duplicity in comments regarding romance, and the fact that she likes guy I hate....and will never even like me.
Things I love about her: Everything else.
Even the things that bother me are endearing and....fuck why did I ever have to meet her? It's fucked up my life. I want to meet someone for whom I feel as much...almost responsibility for, like by not being with her I'm not doing my duty. The only other person I feel that for, or rather felt that for, was Avery. She was/is very broken. I loved being with her, I felt like I was taking care of her.
Is that what I want? Someone broken I can fix? Someone as fucked up as me, someone who reflects my issues and feeds my narcissism?
What do I want?
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