weirdness....

I feel like by being alone, I am missing out on the beautiful things couples can see. And I guess it's pretty pathetic, just me being lonely really, but the beauty in the world seems so much bigger, and scarier, when you're facing it alone. Everyone I know has someone. Even my ex has someone now. I made the right decision regarding her, and only my solitude motivates my nostalgia, but I still feel the pain. I want someone to share all this with. So few people understand me. So very few, though I want to let more in. I'm desperate for more. But who?

I'm trying to be more open with people, show my nice side more often. I don't like putting it out there, it's risky. However, I bought people some tacky gifts at Disney, made me happy. I know Lindsay will love what I got her, buying other people stuff is weird. Can't decide who gets what.

I bought people souvenirs? Who the fuck am I? Where did that fucking come from?