I'll start with the basics on what the people really want to know. Katie and I are still broken up. We've gone through the whole ordeal and we are both alive. She has offered the opportunity to me to stay with her in a pairing where we are somewhere in between an open relationship and being friends with benefits. If this works, fine. Neither of us can get mad at the other for anything. We don't really do anything anyway so this isn't much of a change for me, except that I can now pursue others without any guilt. But I don't exactly know how. I'm back to my old stuff again. I put up an ad on Craig's list, I'm active on my dating site again. But I do not have high hopes. I'm going to diet again, and work out more. I can feel the hollowness growing again. That dead feeling of sunken in eye sockets as your soul slips back in, behind your retinas, and the twinkle reflected in your pupils goes dead. I can feel it. On the verge of tears and slowly dying.
I have no one. I miss my friends. Darien is just missing. Getting his computer repaired or something. I don't know where I stand with anyone else. Pax has been helpful. She's far away though.
Katie could find someone fast if she wanted to. She's beautiful. I am ugly.
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