There have been few films this year that reached the excitement level of James Cameron's latest creation, Avatar. With the possible exception of Paranormal Activity, nothing else has been so advertised and additionally so well reviewed. But as I am not among the metaphorical lemmings of film review, I will place this picture firmly in the refuse bin where it clearly belongs.
I don't know where to begin with this one. The characters seem to be the weakest of the weak, so I'll start there. Our protagonist is the instantly unlikeable Jake Sully, just barely portrayed by Sam Worthington, much like his wooden performance in Terminator Salvation. Despite his status as a paraplegic cheaply employed to invoke sympathy, he's impossible to root for as he chooses the clearly evil side, and switches so late in the movie that you no longer care. The entire human cast, with the notable exception of Sigourney Weaver who should not have to sink to this level for a paycheck, the entire human cast is cookie cutter and performed as so. Stephen Lang portrays the colonel, borrowing so heavily from R. Lee Ermey's repertoire that it was insulting. Despite my inner trekkie wanting to defend Saldana, the character just wasn't written well enough for her to give anything other than a painfully average performance. Every character reads like it was crafted based on George Lucas's dogeared copies of old Joseph Campbell books. No originality or individuality.
Now for the story. If you don't see the twist ending from the trailers, you need to return to class, because nappy time ended hours ago. No, I won't hold your hand. Get the hell out of here. Yes, Jake Sully changes sides. No, it doesn't make any difference to the story. There are some other little side characters like a bumbling sidekick and a strong female helicopter pilot but no one cares. Same crap. The movie is admittedly creative and innovative on paper, but on screen its boring and predictable. The story can't decide if its magic based or science based, and it firmly drops itself in a foggy middle ground where nothing, even the smallest details, is ever decided upon. The magic is biological. no, wait, it's spiritual. no, wait, it's geological. James Cameron, pick a side. If it's magic and science, that's fine too, just tell us that! On the list of crazy things that needed to be explained for me to be able to watch this film:
Floating Mountains? What?! Is it based on some inner magnetism,? Perhaps the celestial being Pandora (yes, the planets name is Pandora) is orbiting is magnetically charged against Pandora's core? Is it literally a mountain floating, like an iceberg? Is it merely top heavy and appears to float?
The alien's ponytails contained an inner cluster of nerves that could become attached to other creatures and plants and whatnot to create a form of telepathic link. Weak or not, this is clearly a direct path to the brain, like the brain-stem on humans. They used it to create a sort of symbiotic relationship with local animals, though what the animals get out of it, if anything, was unclear. And it's located...outside the body. On the back of the head. So...perhaps the most vulnerable point on your body is positioned on the back of your head, out of eyesight, and its protected not by bone, or skin, but a knot of hair. Why did we need guns to kill these things again? I'm fairly sure a team of 20 guys with hatchets could have decimated their entire population. Or 10 guys with chainsaws. Or 1 ninja.
Unobtanium. Not lying to you, that's the name of the "precious metal" the bad guys are mining for. What it does or who in the geological community allowed it to be named something so preposterous is unclear. It's apparently in the heaviest deposit under the native's sacred tree or some crap. No one cares, it's all just plot convenience placement without logic or reason. It could be related to the telepathy thing, but who knows? And so they have to expend massive amounts of explosives and men to destroy the tree, clear it out, and mine under it. You know, instead of just tunneling to it like sane people would. How do they expect to mine after they blow up the tree? They going to blow it up...more? Until the tree is exploded to somewhere else? It's a colossal tree! They better have a damn good clean up crew in that marine battalion, as well as a mining crew. I mean, I never saw any mining equipment, and only one bulldozer. At one point they said they were going to use daisy cutters to destroy the tree. I would have loved to see that, would've made the movie a lot longer since the tree was the size of numerous skyscrapers and daisy cutters were "designed to create an instant clearing in the jungles of Vietnam."
The overall message is the big one though. Avatar's underlying message is an anti-capitalist green endorsement to love your planet and protect it at all costs. The main bad guy is the living embodiment of corporate greed, and the military, which is basically the same thing. It appeared to be the marines, but seeing as most of the military men at the end appeared to be in their early 30's to late 40's, maybe there were mercenaries there too. Who knows? But the film cost somewhere between "$280–310 million to produce and $150 million for marketing." So, its entire message is rendered null and void by the creation of the movie itself.
James Cameron, go to hell.
